About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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