mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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