sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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