honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
