guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
