He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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