We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
