im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
