I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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