You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
