Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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