Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
