Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
