We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
