Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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