dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
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