she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The uberlube is also flammable
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
