I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Everyone says I win the strip club
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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