my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
