i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
