Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
