So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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