if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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