chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
