Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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