I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
