Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
