We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ttyl tear gas
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
