Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
