I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
