I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Be still, my beating vagina.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
