It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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