Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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