wanna go halves on a baby?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
