I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
