how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
