my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
