i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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