EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
