If that was your dad, he is hot
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
