i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
