I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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