why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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