My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
