I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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