strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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