its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
