I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have already put on my inside pants.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize