im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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