if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
