I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
