just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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