Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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