Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
