the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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