i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
A+ Viking dick
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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