I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
the liver wants what the liver wants
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
