i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
